Tuesday, 10 May 2011

5 funniest Apprentice Contestants

The apprentice starts tonight, im fucking psyched. I love the apprentice, its amazing, and every year it introduces us to so many wonderfully delusional people who think they are the dogs bollocks, but they are only half right. I thought I'd celebrate the return of Alan Sugar and the gang with a list of some of the best candidates from past series.

Tre Azam & Simon Ambrose

Deemed the odd couple, the friendship that blossomed during series 3 had us all smiling, Tre, a cool but aggressive, slightly gangsta, very arrogant londoner was matched with Simon, a kinda geeky, very immature Cambridge grad. The two had lovely moments on their own, but the moments they were together were truly special. Simon went on to win in the final, but Tre's arrogance wasn't entirely misplaced as he won 8 out of 11 tasks, the most any candidate has won.

James Mcquillan

James the Joker. I don't care what anyone says, Stuart Baggs aint got nothing on the Mcquillan, whilst baggs had some funny phrases, as sir Alan put it with james "some village is missing their idiot". Despite his nature James made it quite far in the series and secured a place in all of our memories with his exit from the board room, after being fired he turned back to Sir Alan and whispered "its been excellent sir". What a guy

This isn't the best collection of clips, but Youtube is seriously lacking in the Mcquillan department

Raef Bjayou

The king of the apprentice. He gets on with Prince or Pauper and has since graced our scenes again on Celebrity Coach Trip and Celebrity Come dine with me. Raef is a true gentleman, well spoken, always looks the part and as he said on Coach trip he talks about "some of the most interesting topics known to man", he should have won. Simple as.

Alex Epstein

Alex was a bumbling idiot throughout, he thought he was amazing, and he was in his own way. His most magnificent moment of course was his freak out in the board room, "WHEN!". Alex could probably host his own tv show quite competently, he's lovable and just looks like a big puppy, which is how most saw him.

Chris Bates

Chris was robbed in the final. First Sir Alan gets rid of Liz, LIZ?! She had everything, was easily the most level-headed, intelligent and hot one out there, and she bought in £100,000 on one of the tasks. So first she went, and I was sure Chris has to win because Liz was his only real competition. And what happens Stella English gets hired? give me a fucking break. Chris was a legend, he put Baggs the bellend in his place during the bus tours task, kept his cool in the interviewing process despite being torn to shreds, was loved by both Karen and Nick and had some of the best moments in what I consider to be the best series of The Apprentice. His famous fuck up giving a touring company 20% of all their tickets sold, ended up winning him the task and gaining a reputation as "very innovative". I really miss Chris and here's hoping he gets involved with some more television soon.
Again this isn't the greatest clip, it's 10 minutes of his interview from Your Hired including his best bits (around 1min 50), which are brilliant.

Honorable Mentions

Liz Locke

Ok so admittedly, she didn't have many funny moments, but just look at her. Id love to lock lips with liz locke, shes gorgeous and she was incredibly intelligent, with remarkable business acumen. I hear she is going to be doing a video diary for the news of the world talking about the new series, i'll check it out, just to check her out more than anything.

Nick Hewer

Finally, he's the funniest in every series, his facial expressions his genius quips, his ability to point out a huge mistake that puts the teams in their place. I hope he never leaves like Margaret did, and maybe one day it could be Nick Hewer's the apprentice instead.

I can't wait for tonight, and hopefully it doesn't disappoint and there will be a new face or 2 to add to this list in a few weeks time, but who knows?

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